What to Do When Your Bridesmaids Can’t Decide on a Dress

There is no dress more important on a wedding day than that of the bride. If we’re honest, your flower girl would probably argue that hers is the next most important (find inspo here). Still, your bridesmaids’ dresses are crucial to your overall wedding day aesthetic (and to gorgeous group photos). You may already have in mind the style of gown you’d like to see on your girls or the color scheme that will match your overall wedding day theme. So, what do you do if your girl squad is squabbling about their dress? Is it possible for everyone to compromise on a figure- and complexion-flattering dress for every member of your bridal party that fits your vision for your once in a lifetime fairy tale wedding?


Here’s how to get it done.

  • Collaborate on a Price Range. Traditionally, bridesmaids pay for their dresses. If you have one or two ladies who want to pick an exponentially more expensive dress than what others are comfortable (or able) to spend, it could cause a rift. Ideally, you will all decide on a bridesmaid dress budget before you begin shopping. However, if you’ve missed your window to set some financial limits, talk to the individuals who find themselves at opposite ends of the spectrum, and find a comfortable compromise. It may mean that those women who want to choose a high-end gown may need to accept a more affordable option. Fortunately, there are plenty of gorgeous bridal shops and online retailers that sell dresses that are equally affordable and dazzling.
  • Set a Deadline. Sometimes the factor that enables compromise on a group decision is an impending deadline. If your wedding date is coming up and your girls still need time to have their gowns altered, they may be stressing about making a decision—and arguing about the choice. Set a deadline for them as a courtesy and ensure that no one has to pay for rush alteration charges. Tell your ladies that you will support the dress they decide collectively but that they actively need to work toward making a prompt decision.
  • Agree on Your Hard Limits. One way to encourage compromise is to agree to let your girls choose variations of the same dress in the same color and material that will flatter their shapes. If, however, your vision is for matching dresses, then you will all have to agree on what styles are a hard no for everyone, most people, or even someone.If, for example, you have a bestie who is top-heavy and insecure about her chest, ask your other bridesmaids to agree that they won’t push for a dress with a plunging neckline. Most people are insecure about at least one aspect of their body. It may seem impossible to agree on a style that will flatter everyone, but if you prove to your girls that you want them to be comfortable and feel gorgeous on your wedding day, they’ll be reasonable and will be willing to compromise too.
  • Be the Deciding Factor. If, after all of these strategies, your girls still can’t agree on a dress, a style, a length, a budget, or even a color, then it’s probably time to play the bride card. Remind your girls that you want them by your side on your big day. Then explain that since they are struggling to compromise, you’re going to take what you’ve learned by listening to all of their requests and concerns and choose the dress (or dress options) to accommodate everyone while still allowing you to create the wedding day aesthetic of your dreams.  Anyone you’ve asked to be in your wedding will love you enough to put their wants aside to support you and fulfill their role as a member of your W-Day support team.

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