The Maid of Honor Dilemma: What to Do if You Don’t Know Whom to Choose

Maid of Honor Dilemma

If you think the 2020 Presidential election is political, ask a bride what it’s like to have to choose a maid of honor out of her three sisters, two besties, and five cousins. If you are lucky enough to have many special women (and men, because hey, it’s a new decade) in your life that you’d love to have by your side while you say your I dos, choosing just one maid of honor can seem inconceivable. Fortunately, we’re here to tell you that in the era of anything goes weddings, modern brides have a variety of options for how they can structure their bridal party so that no one’s feelings are hurt, and you’re surrounded by all the most special people in your life on your wedding day.

Option 1: Go Wedding Party-less

If choosing your maid of honor, or whom to include in your bridal party is as stressful as voting for in the late rounds of Dancing with the Stars, then take the drama out of your life by choosing not to have a wedding party. This approach will give your friends back the freedom to decide what to wear to your wedding, and it will eliminate their stress of wondering who will be in and who will be out.

Even if you don’t have a formal bridal party, you can still ask your friends to help you plan for your big day, and since they are genuine friends, they will be more than happy to help, even without a title.

Option 2: Don’t Have Any Maids of Honor

Level the field by building a beautiful flock of equally valued bridesmaids and eliminate the MOH title. Without the pressure of wondering who will be crowned, the fairest (or most loved) of them all, the bonds among your bridesmaids will strengthen, and they will form a cohesive team all equally ready and prepared to support you throughout the wedding process.

Inevitably, one or two with the most natural leadership inclination will be likely to step up when it comes to responsibilities like planning your shower or making a speech during your reception. Allowing your ladies to choose such tasks amongst themselves will be more comfortable for all involved.

To really set a new standard in wedding modernity, don’t even call your squad bridesmaids. We like ladies in waiting, bridal attendants, bridal entourage, or fair maidens. Be creative—it’s your day.

Option 3: Have Multiple Maids or Matrons of Honor

If you can’t imagine having to choose between your two siblings, or your sister and your best friend to be your maid of honor, then don’t. If you are equally close to two people and both are vital support systems in your life, then ask both to be co-maids of honor. There are plenty of MOH duties to go around. One can carry your train as you head to the church, and the other can hand you a handkerchief while you cry during your vows. After all, sharing is caring.

Remember that while there are many fabulous wedding traditions, today, there really are no rules when it comes to planning your dream wedding. As long as you have the support and love of the people you cherish who support your relationship as you walk down the aisle, nothing else matters.


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