Your wedding should be one of the happiest days of your life and planning your big day should give you an opportunity to revel in your engagement while living out years’ worth of picture-perfect wedding hopes and dreams. Why then, do so many brides succumb to crippling wedding-related stress that results in weight loss, arguments with friends and family, and tears shed over pints of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream?
According to a study by Zola, 96 percent of couples stress about their wedding plans, with 40 percent reflecting that wedding planning is “extremely stressful,” and 71 percent stating that it is more stressful than such life-altering events as finding a new job. If your SO just put a ring on it, don’t feel like it’s suddenly a weight on your shoulders. Read the tips below to learn how to avoid wedding planning stress.
1. Communicate and Remain Focused on the End Goal. 53 percent of couples reported their biggest cause of wedding-related stress stems from their parents, with 33 percent citing their future in-laws. Remember that your wedding needs to be designed for you and your fiancé, not for anyone else. If your Mother wants you to invite all 33 of your second cousins once removed, or your future MIL wants you to wear her 80’s inspired wedding dress to walk down the aisle, know that you can say no. Just do so proactively, kindly, and in a way that reinforces your desire to celebrate your love your way. You may also need to be willing to compromise on another parental request.
2. Share the Planning Responsibilities. A too-often complaint of brides is that their man isn’t helping to take on any of the wedding planning responsibilities. Your groom may think he’s allowing you total control by leaving all the planning to you and may not realize the stress you’re feeling from a mounting to-do list. Sit down with him and explain that you need help and that you want the planning to be something you do together so that you’re both happy on your wedding day. Then, decide who is going to tackle which of the remaining tasks.
3. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Planning a wedding of any size is a monumental task, and you’re likely not an event planner by day, so don’t be so hard on yourself when it comes to pulling it off with the style and perfection of David Tutera. When we say to let go of the details, we mean the literally small stuff, like whether or not the ribbon around your programs is curled to perfection, or whether or not your flower girl will consent to allow you to put her hair in a top knot. Remember that in the long run, what you’ll remember the most is the moment you said “I do,” and not that the band was 15 minutes late to your reception.
4. Keep Your Cool with Your Squad. Your wedding may be the most important upcoming event in your life, but even though your besties are in your bridal party, don’t forget that your impending marriage isn’t as all-consuming for them as it is for you. If your MOH hasn’t responded to the latest group text yet, or one of your girls has decided on a post-breakup pixie cut after you decided they would all walk down the aisle with beachy waves, try not to let your frustration show. You have asked them to be a part of your special day for a reason—because they are the women who mean the most to you in the world. Don’t risk a dust-up over the details.
5. Don’t Forget to Self-Care. Planning a wedding can quickly become a part-time job. The problem is, you already have a full-time job, along with responsibilities to friends and family, volunteer work, and organizations to which you have committed. Don’t let wedding planning responsibilities replace the time you spend on self-care. Make sure you are still getting to the gym, attending your yoga class, spending time with friends, sleeping eight hours a day, meditating, or anything else that helps you stay centered and balanced.
Remember, you only get one shot at the perfect wedding, but the relationships you have with your parents, in-laws, friends, and spouse will last forever. Keeping your stress levels in control will help you keep your most valued relationships in-tact while ensuring you maximize every happy moment of the best day of your life.