Wedding Etiquette: Tips for Writing Thoughtful Thank You Notes

Writing and sending thank you notes is the final aspect of your wedding. It may feel hard to believe that after months, or even years of planning, you’re about to check the last wedding-related item off your to-do list. Don’t be tempted to rush the process of writing your thank you notes. Keep in mind that your friends and family spent time and money traveling to attend your wedding and supporting the start of your new lives together.

Each thank you note deserves to be treated with care and consideration so that its recipient knows you put time and effort into creating a personal, thoughtful message. Before you settle in with your new hubby to write two hundred thank you notes, review our best practices for writing thank you notes that are thoughtful and meaningful.


The Greeting

  • Double check the spelling of every first and last name. You don’t want to inadvertently misspell your new Aunt Michele’s (not Michelle’s) name.
  • Also, be sure to start with the word “Dear.”
  • Use proper titles. For example, “Dear Aunt Marie, Uncle Tom, and Cousin John,” or if you’re addressing friends of your parents, “Mr. & Mrs. Jones.”

Start with a Sincere, All-Encompassing Thank You

  • Your first statement should be one of thanks. Start with a general thank you for being a part of your wedding. The easiest place to start is with the phrase “Thank you for.” For example: “Thank you for being a part of our special day,” or “Thank you for attending our wedding.”
  • If the recipient traveled to be a part of your wedding, be sure to thank them for taking the time and effort to travel as well.


Say Thank You Specifically for Any Gifts

  • Add a statement thanking them for their gift, if applicable. Say something personal or meaningful regarding the gift, even if it’s something you picked out yourself and added to your registry. Tell them why you like it, or how you intend to use it. For example, mention that you plan to use the serving dishes for celebrating your first Thanksgiving together.
  • If the gift was monetary, still be sure to say how you plan to use it to add a personal touch. For example. “Thank you for the generous gift. It will help us greatly this Spring as we buy our first home together.”

Mention the Future

  • Add a forward-looking statement. Again, make sure it’s personal. For example, “We look forward to seeing you this summer at the annual family reunion,” or “We plan to travel to New York this Fall and hope to be able to see you again there.”

Say a Final Thank You

  • End your note with one final thank you, but be sure to state it differently from the phrase you used when you started the note. For example, “Thank you for your love and support during our wedding and always.”

End with Regards

  • Depending on if the recipient is family, a friend, or co-worker, you may want to choose from one of the following phrases:
    • Love,
    • Sincerely,
    • Many Thanks,
    • Yours truly,

Remember to Make It Personal

Remember that how you present your message matters just as much as what you say. Send personalized thank you note cards that match your wedding theme and day-of stationery. From the moment your thank you cards arrive, your loved ones will know exactly who the card is from, and will look forward to the sincere thanks inside.


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